How I finally got pregnant with one tube and a miscarriage

3 years ago, I had a miscarriage when I was 7 weeks pregnant. It would probably not be such a heartbreaking experience if not for the fact that The Hubby and I had been trying real hard to have a baby for more than 12 months. You know, ovulation kits, temperature monitoring, body checkups, blood tests, the whole works. After the loss, we refused to give up and went straight back into trying for a baby rightaway. Two months past, two more disappointments.

Third month came, still not my month. I flew to Jeju for a business trip. Unfortunately for me, Jeju, an island in South Korea, was a family (think lots and lots of children) resort. Everywhere I turned, I was reminded of my inadequacies and it was torture. I spent whatever non-business time I had in Jeju researching the Internet for causes for miscarriage and infertility hoping to find answers. Then I found it: Hydrosalpinx.

Medical researches related to IVFs showed that Hydrosalpinx, a fluid that builds up in a blocked fallopian tube, reduced IVF treatments by as much as 50% (see one such paper at http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/reprint/11/5/1013.pdf) and its presence also correlates to miscarriage risk.

Then it all clicked. You see I had an ectopic pregnancy 2 years prior to the miscarriage. Since the pregnancy was unplanned and it resolved on its own without active treatment, I did not give much thought to it. Not until I was all ready to conceive anyway. I went for the HSG test (to examine womb) 6 months after trying to conceive to check if both my fallopian tubes were blocked. Thankfully, the tests showed that I had a blocked tube with Hydrosalpinx buildup but my other tube was perfect. Since I still had one good tube, I thought nothing of the Hydrosalpinx.

Armed with the miscarriage and infertility info related to Hydrosalpinx, I knew what I had to do. Once I got back from my trip, I went straight to the OBGYN and requested for her to cut off the bad tube and explained my findings on from the Net. She was extremely sceptical and said that this was new to her. I returned later in the day to her clinic with the researches printed off the Net. She then went on hmm-humming while reading the printouts and said that the researches were based on pregnancies related to IVFs so were inconclusive. I couldn't believe my ears! If hydrosalpinx affects IVF's outcomes, why wouldn't it affect normal pregnancies too since the only difference between the two is the insemination process?! Besides, I do not see any harm in removing a useless tube other than the inconvenience to me. Removing it could also prevent me having another ectopic pregnancy. It was a no-brainer.

At my insistence, the OBGYN reluctantly performed a salpingectomy to remove the tube. The Hubby and I tried again two months after the surgery. This time round, I conceived. No miscarriage! Naturally, I switched my OBGYN. :p

The Daughter is now two years old. The Son who is now eight months old was conceived easily within 2 months of trying. I do not think it is a coincidence.

So for all you ladies out there who are trying to conceive or have multiple miscarriages, I am writing this blog specially to help you. Still don't know what to do? Go take a HSG test and if you have a blocked tube, remove it. If both tubes are badly blocked with Hydrosalpinx buildup, you may want to remove them and go for IVF. If it's neither, go for a thorough checkup. If you have a question, please feel free to post your comments here and I'll be happy to answer it.

Remember, never ever ever give up! Remember the OBGYN is not always right and if you are doubtful, get a second opinion. Remember my story. Remember to keep having lots and lots of sex!

The Argument Resolution Book and its appearance in Oprah

Well, I decided to start a blog because it's seems like the next best thing to writing a book, which is what I truly wanted to do, but somehow never got around to do.

The thought of writing a book first crossed my mind three years back when The Hubby and me devised an argument resolution method. This method that we concocted is very special, or that's what we thought at least. It is different from the classic ways of resolving arguments - you know, the "the let him/her win" tactics or "ignorance is bliss" strategy or worse, the "get outsiders involved" approach.

Our method leaves The Hubby and me, two extremely strong-headed and opinionated individuals, feeling that we have both won the “battle” after a fight, which is unusual given that our past arguments often ended in “one party wins, the other lose" or "both are fuming mad and sore" outcomes.

After several stress tests of what we deemed is an inventive method, we self-declared that it worked real well (still does, which proves that it stands the test of time too) and we were ready to share it with couples worldwide. What better way than through a book.

Admittedly, when we first thought of writing a book, our intent is not purely altruistic. We know that we hold crucial information that anyone who is a relationship would love to have. We envisioned that The Book would become a worldwide phenomenon and make it to bestselling status everywhere. Maybe, just maybe, The Book would land us an appearance on the Oprah show too. We would be changing lives, transforming relationships and making big big bucks all at once! No harm in dreaming big. :)

Since The Hubby is more of a left brainer (think math, computing, physics) and I am the one who loves to read and write, the job of The Book landed on my lap. But fate has it that I am a professional procrastinator. Somehow, I just could not find time to write in the last three years. I do have solid excuses though: The Career, The Pregnancy, The Daughter, The Pregnancy 2, The Son.

For those of you bloggies who are dying of curiosity about the powerful argument resolution method, I am sorry but I cannot give it away. Not right now anyway. I have to withhold the content for The Book for now, in case I do write it “one day”. I do want to pursue my dream someday. If there comes a day when I finally give up my write-a-book idea, I may reveal it in my blog.

That is all for now. It has been fun. I hope this would not be my last post given that time is not exactly my best friend. I look forward to my next post and hope you do too.