Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Thumbs down on Yahoo Answers?

So I got the first "Thumbs Down" on Yahoo Answers. My first two to be precise. Yes, on the saaame question.

I know it's something that I should not take personally but I cannot helped being a little pissed because I really meant well.

You see I have started to be an active Yahoo Answerer recently in my attempt to 'pay it forward' to the Internet. You may read the full story in my previous posts. Long story short - I got answers to my infertility issues through the Internet and have decided to start my mini pay-it-forward movement as my thank you to the Internet community for my Babies 1 and 2. My modus operandi is to share my infertility stories and provide pregnancy advice with Netizens.

Now we have set the stage, let's get back to the main story. So I took on a question from a lady who wasn't sure if she had conceived successfully but wanted to know if she can 'risk it' and drink alcohol at a wedding she was about to attend as she did not want to go into "explanations" about trying to conceive. Here is the question and my answer, unedited:

Qn: Alcohol and the 2-week wait?

What are the rules on alcohol during the "2 week wait"? I ovulated MUCH earlier than expected this month (my last two cycles have been about 43 days), but Fertility Friend says I ovulated on day 14 and I'm now 5 DPO. We are attending a wedding this weekend of two very good friends and I know everyone will wonder what's up if I don't have at least a drink or two. I'd rather not go into an explaination, as the friends we'll see there don't even know we're TTC, including the bride and groom. But is it safe?

Alternatively I had considered doing an "early results" pregnancy test on Friday morning when I'll be 7 DPO, but I think that's too early to test and get an accurate result... right?

My Answer
This is a no brainer. Don't drink! Why take the chance? Think of the worst case scenario - you get pregnant, fetal alcohol syndrome or birth defects. Think that and ask yourself, is it worth it?! Cook up some excuse such as you are taking meds, you are driving etc. Do the smart thing.

I agree I sounded a little harsh but how can you blame me when I'm just trying to knocked some sense into a woman who is trying to weigh if her drinking alcohol or the well-being of her potential baby is more important? I read enough about alcohol fetal syndrome to know that just one drink, especially during the early stages of pregnancy, is tooo much. The first trimester is a crucial period when the brain is form and alcohol can cause birth defects (See article on How much Alcohol Is too Much?). As you can see, I was harsh because I care enough to want her to make the responsible decision. Doesn't always pay to be kind. :(

It's sad that people just want to hear what they want to hear and do not like to hear an answer that they disagree with. What is sadder is the fact that the "best answer" was awarded to an answerer who basically told her to go ahead and drink, someone who probably care less of the clueless woman's well-being than me.

Well, for now I guess I have to get past this upsetting episode and take The Hubby's advice for me: It happens, some people are juvenile, move on.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Pay it forward for my Google babies

When I finally successfully got pregnant and gave birth to The Baby 1, I knew that I needed to somehow pay it forward.

You see I had trouble conceiving with the added misfortune of losing 2 babies. Naturally, I googled obsessively on 'miscarriages' and 'fertility' before I found research papers about 'hydrosalpinx', a fluid buildup in my blocked fallopian tube that I was certain was causing my infertility problems (for the full lowdown, see my previous post: 'How I finally got pregnant with miscarriage'.)

As you would probably have guessed by now, I finally got pregnant after I removed my faulty fallopian tube. I'm sure some OBGYNs would disagree about my theory on this but having a baby soon after I turned to a uni-fallopianian seemed too much of a coincidence considering my > 12 months conception failures and my miscarriage. Also, to strengthen my case, The Baby 2 was conceived at my very first attempt of trying to conceive him. So I was fertile after all!

Since I owed my lovely babies to Google as well as to my many faceless internet forum friends whom I sought solace in and who were so kind to open their hearts to me and advise me when I was so lost and frustrated in my attempts to have a baby, I know that I have to give back.

I have been posting on some forums in my attempt to pay it forward. I needed to get the word out on my story as I do not think that the 'hydrosalpinx' issue is well-understood by a lot of OBGYNs. Surely, not by the reaction of my first OBGYN who claimed that she never heard of the link between 'hydrosalpinx' and infertility and miscarriage! I truly believe that had I lived in a world without the internet or google, my two lovely babies would not be here right by my side.

I do hope that there would at least be one woman out there who would get inspired by my story or may know what to do now if she has a damaged tube(s). Hope my pay-it-forward efforts pays off. For those of you who have any pay-it-forward recommendation, please feel free to post in the comments column.